This is the message I want all my fellow grievers to hear today:
Grief is part of who you are now – and that’s okay. In many ways, if appropriately channeled, grief can transform you into a better and more compassionate version of the person you once were.
You are not weak. Your emotions are valid and warranted and the only way to heal is to allow yourself to feel them.
You are not disloyal because you’ve made (or are working on making) a conscious effort to continue your life on this earth without someone you never thought you’d have to miss. Please believe that you deserve happiness.
You are not ungrateful for still hurting over what you’ve lost even though your life may have brought you new blessings you never imagined. You can grieve the past and appreciate the present all at once.
You are not selfish. It’s not only okay but absolutely necessary to take care of yourself, to make yourself a priority, and to say no or to walk away from things that bring you down. It is possible to wish others well and still not accept poor treatment directed your way. Not everyone will understand or approve of your journey, and you don’t need them to.
Your grief will change over time, but it will never end. As they say, it’s the price we pay for great love.
Life is not black and white, and grief sure as hell isn’t either. You’re learning to navigate a very grey and unpredictable terrain and you are doing the best you can. The most important thing you can do? Keep going.
Most importantly, remember that you are not alone in your grief. Sometimes it will definitely feel that way, but I promise that you are seen and you are heard by someone.
I hope you spend today honoring the person you’ve lost in some special way. And if you happen to find yourself shedding a few tears while you do – I hope you remember that it’s okay.