I posted this picture on Instagram last night. It was taken by a friend on the night we celebrated turning 21 (our birthdays are just five days apart). The picture gained a lot of likes and comments, one of them being “true happiness” – and it made me realize that there was more to this picture that I wanted to share.
First of all, if we look incredibly happy – one too many vodka cranberries may have had something to do with it. (I mean, 21st birthday celebrations usually involve alcohol, right?)
Secondly, while it was mostly an epic night, it ended with Ralf and I getting into one of the worst and dumbest fights of our entire relationship. (Yes, once again, vodka cranberry. If you asked me today what the fight was about, I couldn’t tell you.)
Here’s the point I’m trying to make: there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. They simply do not exist. If that’s what you’ve been searching or waiting for, you will never find it. I promise you that.
We were truly happy – most of the time.
Then there were times that I wanted to wring his neck or that he wanted to throw me off of our second story balcony.
And now, I’m very happy in my relationship with Vinnie, but it isn’t always rainbows and butterflies. There are days when the very ugly parts of grief surface for each of us, and it takes a great deal of patience and understanding.
Don’t look for someone to love you perfectly. When you find someone who will love you despite your own ugly imperfections – that’s who you should hold on to.
The one who will still see your beauty and your worth even when they are buried under irrational, unwarranted anger brought on by too many vodka cranberries.
The one who will see past your irritability and depression caused by grief and wait for you on the other side with open arms.
And if you’re lucky enough to find that, remember that the length of your time together is impossible to predict.
So cherish it.
All of it – even the unpleasant moments. Because working through the hard stuff is when your relationship will have the potential to grow the most.
Fight and argue if you need to; air out your dirty laundry.
Then, remember that you must always fight for each other.