You were never supposed to happen to me. This is a love that was not part of my plan. But then life happened the way it did. It shattered. Into a million jagged pieces on the floor. Fragments of broken dreams that could never fit back together the way they once did. And they don’t. But that’s the point. Somehow you helped me revive the remnants of my heart, by intertwining them with yours. You gave me the courage to […]
“I want a brother or sister.” Words spoken so innocently, so genuinely. Words that stabbed my heart in a way that he, of course, could not understand. We were in Buffalo visiting Vinnie’s family. It was also my parents’ first trip to his hometown. We were all together in the van, on our way to drop my parents off at their hotel for the evening. The car went silent. There was an unspoken, collective feeling of sorrow. “Oh Baby Boy, […]
Mason is finally asleep and I am very uncomfortably lying next to him in his Lightning McQueen bed. What a challenge bedtime was tonight! He is currently obsessed with legos and was building a firetruck with Vinnie as I told him it was time to go potty and then night-night. He threw a huge tantrum because there was one tiny little piece missing and he didn’t want to leave the truck unfinished. We tried reasoning with him and explaining it […]
Written by a firefighter widow who lost her young husband to cancer, this article addresses the link between firefighting and cancer, as well as possible toxicity exposure affecting their loves ones.
Categories: Cancer, Education, Grief, Health • Tags: Accountability, Cancer Sucks, City of Miami Fire Rescue, Education, Fire Families Against Cancer, Firefighter Cancer Initiative, Firefighter Widow, Firefighters and Cancer, Support Florida Firefighters, Together We Will
As many of you know, the anniversary of Ralf’s passing is approaching. A few weeks ago, his father spoke at a firefighter symposium in Miami. When he told me about it, I expressed wanting to contribute somehow, but wasn’t sure what I could do. Then, the idea for this simple video came to me. I share this not to make anyone sad, but rather to hopefully drive home a message that needs to be heard. If it inspires one member […]
Three years ago tonight, Ralf and I shared our last meal in our home together. Spaghetti and meatballs from one of our favorite local Italian joints – Ferrari’s. I remember it well. I asked if he would be okay with this dish yet again – because it was a frequent craving throughout my pregnancy – and he agreed. We had it delivered and then we sat next to each other at our kitchen counter, like we so often did. Now […]
My husband is gone. Not gone like he stepped out to pick up some milk at the grocery store. Not gone like working the night shift. Not gone like on a fishing trip with his buddies. Not even gone like staying elsewhere for a while as we try to figure out whether our relationship is still worth fighting for. Gone like…gone…. To read full article, click here.
We’ve been going through a very difficult phase trying to decide whether or not naptime is still a necessity. Mason has never been a sound sleeper, but recently putting him to bed at night has become quite the ordeal. Even if we start the process at 8:00pm, he sometimes takes over an hour to fall asleep. So, we decided to try skipping the mid-day snooze to see if that would help. Initially, it seemed to be working because he was […]
A few weeks ago, my mom sent me a text saying that she’d been cleaning out her filing cabinets and came across some really nice pictures of Ralf and me. She asked if I would like to see. Then, she took pictures of the pictures with her phone and sent them my way. There we were. Just 18 years old, freshly graduated from high school, filled with hope and anticipation for the future that we already knew we wanted to […]