Three years ago tonight, Ralf and I shared our last meal in our home together. Spaghetti and meatballs from one of our favorite local Italian joints – Ferrari’s. I remember it well. I asked if he would be okay with this dish yet again – because it was a frequent craving throughout my pregnancy – and he agreed. We had it delivered and then we sat next to each other at our kitchen counter, like we so often did. Now […]
My husband is gone. Not gone like he stepped out to pick up some milk at the grocery store. Not gone like working the night shift. Not gone like on a fishing trip with his buddies. Not even gone like staying elsewhere for a while as we try to figure out whether our relationship is still worth fighting for. Gone like…gone…. To read full article, click here.
We never met while you were here on this Earth, but I feel very connected to you. You were the love of the man who now holds my heart. Like him, I have suffered the loss of a great love of my life. I completely understand how he yearned for you, cried for you after you left – and how a part of him always will. I understand how even now he can be having a completely “normal” day and […]
It finally happened. I’d read about it in some widow groups that I’m a member of, but had never personally experienced it myself. I’ve even had the audacity to think to myself, “Wow, these women know some really insensitive people!” And now, I stand corrected… To read full post, click here.
Grief is complicated. It brings so many emotions that can be difficult to feel, let alone explain, for adults. So how about for children? How can we guide little souls through such a complex and uniquely individual process in a way that is understandable and relatable to them? My Favorite Color is Blue. Sometimes. by Roger Hutchison does an exquisite job of describing the feelings of a griever in a profound yet simple way through colors and art. It’s a […]
I decided to take an Epsom Salt bubble bath tonight because I worked out for the first time in a very long time yesterday and I am SORE. I played some soft instrumental music on Pandora, lit some candles, poured myself a glass of red wine, then immersed these achy, out-of-shape muscles in a foam-filled, lavender scented tub. I lay there for a few minutes with my eyes closed, trying to consciously and voluntarily relax every last muscle in my […]
Life can be really hard sometimes. Unfair. Cruel. And there seems to be no rhyme or reason for any of it. Sometimes I find myself wondering why some people are given such a heavy burden to carry. Why do some encounter roadblock after roadblock, obstacle after obstacle, when they are trying so desperately to pull themselves out of the depths of despair, while others seems to have their lives follow some perfect, cookie-cutter plan that they’ve crafted. I don’t know. […]
This is the message I want all my fellow grievers to hear today: Grief is part of who you are now – and that’s okay. In many ways, if appropriately channeled, grief can transform you into a better and more compassionate version of the person you once were. You are not weak. Your emotions are valid and warranted and the only way to heal is to allow yourself to feel them. You are not disloyal because you’ve made (or are […]
Judgment: we are all guilty of it and we’ve all fallen victim to it at some point or another. Why? Unfortunately it seems that it’s part of our human nature to assume, to jump to conclusions, to believe we know about something that we actually don’t understand. Even before I lost Ralf, I suffered from some minor anxiety. I would easily stress over things that I realize now were pretty silly. When I remember planning the wedding – OH MY […]