“I want a brother or sister.” Words spoken so innocently, so genuinely. Words that stabbed my heart in a way that he, of course, could not understand. We were in Buffalo visiting Vinnie’s family. It was also my parents’ first trip to his hometown. We were all together in the van, on our way to drop my parents off at their hotel for the evening. The car went silent. There was an unspoken, collective feeling of sorrow. “Oh Baby Boy, […]
Mason is finally asleep and I am very uncomfortably lying next to him in his Lightning McQueen bed. What a challenge bedtime was tonight! He is currently obsessed with legos and was building a firetruck with Vinnie as I told him it was time to go potty and then night-night. He threw a huge tantrum because there was one tiny little piece missing and he didn’t want to leave the truck unfinished. We tried reasoning with him and explaining it […]
We’ve been going through a very difficult phase trying to decide whether or not naptime is still a necessity. Mason has never been a sound sleeper, but recently putting him to bed at night has become quite the ordeal. Even if we start the process at 8:00pm, he sometimes takes over an hour to fall asleep. So, we decided to try skipping the mid-day snooze to see if that would help. Initially, it seemed to be working because he was […]
A few weeks ago, my mom sent me a text saying that she’d been cleaning out her filing cabinets and came across some really nice pictures of Ralf and me. She asked if I would like to see. Then, she took pictures of the pictures with her phone and sent them my way. There we were. Just 18 years old, freshly graduated from high school, filled with hope and anticipation for the future that we already knew we wanted to […]
Sometimes it seriously feels like my child hates me, and I know I am not the only mom to ever feel this way. I love that kid more than I could ever adequately express in words, and every single thing that I do, I do with the intention of providing the best possible childhood for him… To read full post, click here.
Ralf died just two days before our scheduled maternity photo shoot. It ended up being the day of his funeral instead of the day we were going to have our first family portraits taken. Those that know me well can tell you how much I love pictures. I always used to make elaborate collages of my favorite snapshots as a teenager, and still have more picture frames around my house than the average person. I think it’s amazing how a […]
I carried him in my womb for 9 months. Luckily it was a pretty “easy” and “uneventful” pregnancy. Inside my womb where he was protected and untouchable, at least. Outside, my world was crumbling during those last two months. His little beating heart was the only thing that kept me going… To read full post, click here.
A couple of months ago, while sitting in the waiting room at my dentist’s office, Good Morning America was on the television. Kyra Sedgewick and Kevin Bacon were the featured guests, and they were talking about their experiences raising their children. Kyra said something that I thought was pretty powerful. She stated, “They’re born kind of perfect, you just have to try not to mess them up too much.” Wow. Isn’t that the truth? But then again – it seems […]
Earlier tonight, I was snuggled up behind Mason as I lay with him in his new car bed waiting for him to fall asleep. He was facing away from me and my arms were wrapped tightly around his delicious little body. Somehow my hand inadvertently ended up perfectly wedged between the mattress and his chest, and I could feel every beat of his tiny heart on my fingertips. I usually leave shortly after I’m sure he has dozed off into […]